I am here

its been so long its like ive forgotten how to do this.

its just that my brain seems to be all clogged up. like i have writers block. which is just plain stupid. how can you have writers block in your own blog. i mean really.

I am leaving for new york on friday. that is good. this week will be hell, grades are due in wed am, and im stalling on finishing some stuff up. i just shouldnt accept any late work. but i do. i have so many make up tests and shit like that its sick.

things to do. so many things to do.

need to do laundry so i can pack.
need to pay rent
need to go to the bank.
need to wax uni-brow.
need to pay bills.
need to pack danny's dvds.
need to grade makeups.


anyways. enough of that.

I spent the past week or so helping my mom scan all sorts of old photos and documents from my grandpa's estate. there were tons and tons of old letters. Ive tried writing letters, and to me, like most things in life, i cant seem to do it unless it serves an actual purpose. I cant write a letter because any useful information i need to convey will allready be communicated by the time the letter has been recieved. Same thing with walking or running. it needs to serve a purpose. ill run if im playing a game, and ill walk if i have somewhere to walk to (like work or something) anyways, i sort of wish there were still a need for that sort of communication. the letters i got to see were so eloquently worded. there was an art to it. my grandfather had only minimal education, i dont think he completed high school, but his letters read like those of a far more educated man. plus there was a sort of properness about it all. a formality. he could cut you a new one and youd never know it happened because he was complimenting you the whole way.
the other very interesting thing to see was all the 2nd hand information. some copies of letters were things papa had written, but far more of them were responses to him from friends and family. oh the family history that no one ever spoke of. i got to see photos of my grandpa's second wife. no one EVER speaks of her. they were married breifly and divorced quickly. i only found out she existed bc i was a nosey kid and listened in on my moms conversation. but now, i got to see photos. and my grandfather kept correspondance with a priest in rome, and he was apparently asking for advice. i guess every one was telling my grandpa to re-marry after my grandmother passed away. his youngest child was 4 at the time, and even his mother in law was telling him to find some one else. and he dated Irene for like 8 years before their failed marriage. she was a widow and had two children of her own. the whole story just facinates me. maybe some day ill write a novel about it.

other random things i found. my grandmas wedding budget. hysterical.


and something else that just makes me laugh like hell. this is a photo of me when i was 3. and the back is my fathers handwriting, except for my signature. it just cracks me up.


and on that note, im off to pay my rent and do laundry.
:)