yeah yeah. shut up.

i know its been two months. bite me.

hm. well that sets the tone, doesnt it? ITs been a long two months. I am job searching openly now. Havent told students, but if a faculty member asks, im honest. I have letters of rec from 3 different people at school and one from my university supervisor. I had an interview at willowbrook, which went well i think, and im hoping for a call back and second interview in the next week.

i spent last night yelling at jeff. i feel a little bad about it, because it was alot of venting, and he just happend to be there.

dan is back in miami. he will finish in june. we spent an amazing two weeks when he was home for easter. Im scared to death of what will happen this summer, both for him and for me. both of us are job searching and have no where to live. i know that im going to be in the chicago land area one way or another. it may or may not be a good thing for him to find a job in chicago. depends on the agency and whatnot.

i have never been able to spell apologize. i always add an extra p.

i am so totaly exhausted right now. i am going to bed. id say that im going to update more frequently, but im going to remain realistic here. i may or may not. we shall see.

gurgles

Im sitting at my computer, its 4:30, i just ate lunch. and my stomach is gurgling.

hit it.

Stupid cold has taken over my body. im sniffy, throat scratchy, and perhaps the worst, my ears are congested. its a bizzare feeling. I know enough to keep myself medicated enough that the general public can not see how sick i am. it helps that i slept for 4 hours yesterday after school, and still got a full nights sleep.

Im ditching tuesday night tv/halo in favor of my bed. well, my bed and the 40 thousand things i need to do. I have a list of people to return phone calls to, and they wont be short calls, and i dont really want to have them at marjories house. it would be rude. i also need to write a letter of recommendation for one of the teachers at school. he has been nominated for the "rising star" award. I dont know that any other faculty has written his recommendation letters, so i feel like i ought to. Karma or something.

I dont always feel very acomplished. i know that ive completed my master degree, and ive got a teaching certificate and im smart or whatever. but you know, when you write it all down on one sheet of paper, it doesnt feel like alot. i guess i just hope that one day ill be a good enough teacher to actualy make an impact and not just be another warm body at the front of the class room in the string of teachers each student has in a life time. I want to make an impact.

i guess thats all every one wants isnt it. we all want to do something and know that weve made a difference. left a mark. changed the world. i dont pretend to think that im talented enough or bright enough to be one of those people that every one recognizes. the famous difference makers. but it would be nice to find out in 20 years that some one did something for good that had a little bit to do with me.

I guess thats part of the reason i take comfort in my belief that everything has an effect. that life is one chain reaction. that coincidence happens so god can stay a mystery.
if i never went to montini, id never have met peg.
if i never met peg, id never have met dan.
if i never met dan id be sad.
if i never met dan, peg would have never met lonnie.
if peg never met lonnie, peg would be sad.


When i look at things like that, it makes me feel better about the awkward inbetween times. the times that dont make sense. the silly waiting, or hurting. sure, they sucked. but something better always came.

i think i may have just motivated myself to go work out tonight, even if i am sick. huh. look at that. no one is more surprised than I.

toodles.
tree

saturday night blues.

and greens.

Ive been working on keiths quilt. it looks good so far. the little square bits ihave so far. I got a little excited while i was cutting tonight and i sort of cut WAY too many strips of one color. oops.

in other news, math team has been doing well lately. we placed 2nd at the past two meets, above schools we usualy lose to. im really proud of the kids, and we are all getting excited for regional and state.

im slightly dissapointed in tonight. peg and i were supposed to see joe/jake from college. he ended up never calling us back, and at this point, its just too late even if he did call. i was really looking forward to seeing him and meeting tres. ah well.


since i posted last, i got myself a new lap top. i realized my computer was verging on death, and i need something for work. her name is psyche. she is lovely. we are good friends.

last night i borrowed the projector from school and we projected halo on the walls of our apt. two xboxs. ginormous. it was good fun

alrighty then. its late, my brain has a hard time working after 10 pm.
im off kiddios. ill try and update more often. ive been bad lately.

adios.
tree

the final flurry

finals start tomorrow. i have them all photo copied. and aside from the fact that NONE of my grades are done, i guess im sort of prepared.

semester grades are due next tuesday. brides maid dress shopping is saturday. driving kaylin to marquette is saturday. poker is friday. if i decide to join. i may tell the teachers forget it and just go take a nap. maybe.

im tired of living in separate states/countries/towns from dan. and thats all ill say about that.


three days of testing, hopefully only one more of grading. monday off. next tuesday i can start fresh.

fresh starts. doesnt that sound nice.

happy aftermath

well. i guess i could say that im ready to start recovering from the holidays.
it was just a whirlwind of running around. i think i still have ribbons and wrapping paper in the back of my car. yep. there it is.

schools back. im alive. i keep saying that. "how are you?" - "I'm Alive"
and really, i think that sums it up. im not good. im not bad. im still alive and thats something.

dans in san francisco now. he left today. he also has a cell phone. if you want the number, email him. he may not be giving it out though, seeing how he hates cell phones. I am pleased simply because now i have a way to get ahold of him. yeah! i get to talk to danny!

im still contemplating those few things that i want to purchase as "christmas gifts" to myself. still thinking about tivo. or perhaps comcast dvr. havnt decided. comcast is cheaper. eh. Thinking about a new lap top. and ive done some of my home work. i think i know which one i want. thats good. its little . teeeny tiny. thats what i wanted. a little one. had to have a cd rom drive, so not too little for that. and i have a few system requirements. and cost requirements. but all in all, i think ive found a system thats a good comprimise for me. if i find a link i may post it.

crap. it was at fry's outpost, but i cant find it anymore. i just hope they still have it at the store. gotta call up mummy and daddy and perhaps go lap top shopping.

ok. its late. i have to go. its tuesday night. and on tuesdays there is beer. no wait. wings... nope. tv. and halo. thats right.

funny how many incarnations of tuesday night ive had. i like my tuesday night traditions. they are fun.

tuesday night beer and wings may have been my favorite.